Ick it's Monday! Well I can't remember if I blogged about this before or not so I will quickly go over it. My entire life, I have been a magnet for boys who are freaks (not in the cool vegan way) in the gross, sleazy, inappropriate, scary please don't talk to me, damn it why, why does he have to pick me to talk to way. I think I blogged about a guy at a party a while back, ugh, he was strange and way too touchy! Anyway, my theory has been that it's the blond hair, blond hair attracts a specific demographic of scary freak, and sleazy old men. In Italy it's a beacon for please harass me the blond easy American girl. My sister gets the same thing although that is in large part to her being drop dead gorgeous. I'm not complaining that I get hit on too much oh boo hoo, no, you must understand, these are not normal people who harass me, talk to me, touch me, hit on me, they are scary and it happens all the time.
Well now my hair is brown and guess what, it didn't help. Saturday night approximately 8:30pm I am minding my own business reading a book on BART on my way to the city (SF) to meet up with a friend and go out to dinner and then dancing. BART at night, alone as a female, I'm always a bit cautious, I keep my coat tight, put my do not disturb (bitch) face on and read. Usually headphones are very helpful in this area but I haven't replaced my stolen ipod yet, so no help there. Let me preface this by saying I have had a really scary, bad late night BART experience several years ago. A group of guys gets on, they are loud, clearly have been drinking. There are maybe 1 or 2 other people in my car that are not a part of this group. I hear one of them trying to get my attention,
"Hey, you, girl, with the nose ring, reading, brown hair..." I ignore this, pretending I don't hear it, burying myself in my book, praying that this works. It seems to, some time passes and then it happens. He gets up and sits in the seat next to me, practically on top of me (oh shit, please no go away, leave me alone, stay calm, just ignore him, he will go away) and then he starts talking to me.
"Hi, what are you reading about" I don't answer "What's that book about?" It's complicated I say. "What? What's it about?" I said it's complicated as in it would take me a long time to explain I reluctantly reply. "Oh, what's the title, what's it called?" I flash him the cover. "Are you in College?" No, graduated "How old are you?" 28 "oh shit, damn!" Yes Mother F@#ker I'm old now kindly F**k off! I want to yell. I'm scared, his friends surround the area and I'm just thinking, what am I going to do, they could have weapons, I'm totally F**ked! "Where do you live?" Oakland "But you don't have a boyfriend do you?" Yes I do (like I would say NO, HELLO!!!) "OK but we can be friends right?" Maybe "We can be friends and then I can work my way up to being your boyfriend and then you can dump that guy" No "But why? We can be friends and then I can work my way up to being your boyfriend, I'm a good guy, I'm grown up and responsible. That nose ring looks really good, see, does your boyfriend compliment you like that?" Yes "Well is he a good boyfriend, like romantic and does the right things?" Yes "OK but we can be friends, do you have a cell phone" NO (yeah right like I'm gonna give you my number) "Oh well, where are you going?" (shit) My friends house "Where's that?" Haight Ashbury "Oh but do you know where it is?" Yes "Well we can be friends and then I can be your boyfriend" No "Well are you sure everything is good with your boyfriend like he's good to you and romantic and when you get intimate?" What? "Like when you have sex is it good?" (OMG, I want to run out of this car, am praying it's almost my stop, so scared that if I tell him to F**k off he will become more physical as he is already touching me and leaning on me) Umm I'm not talking about that!! "What why? You should because I'm a good lover..." He then starts to go into detail and I start freaking out big time! Then miraculously it's my stop and I get up and run out the door. As I'm walking through the station, my heart is beating so fast I can feel it jumping up into my throat, I can feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and I try to talk myself through it. Your overreacting I say to myself, calm down, it's OK But flashes of what could have happened keep appearing in my head. I breath deeply, remembering my BART trauma from years ago. I feel violated, sickened, scared and angry. I hate this feeling, I hate that men think they can treat women this way, I hate feeling so vulnerable and out of control because had I not been afraid of retaliation I would have told that guy off and pushed him away from me. And I just keep thinking, why me? Why did he choose me? What is it about me that attracts this kind of guy?
Once I arrived at Jennifer's apartment and told her what happened I felt better, I tried to put it out of my mind and went out and had fun. F**ker! So yes, it happens to brunettes too, oh well, it was just a theory. I felt so gross after that, but yummy Thai food and wine with Jenn, made it better. Then we went to this club called Supper Club it's a really interesting place, liked it very much, very fun! Great music, including live drums and guitar, kind of like a Cirque de Soleil dance club with tons of really comfy couches where dinner is served and perfect for making out with cute dance partners! I will definitely go there again! Met some cool people, did some danci'n, nice. Here is a pic of me and Jenn on our way out, even though my eye looks stupid in it, it's still cute! I hate jerks and I love to dance! Ciao!